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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23247565">Liebeslieder</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rei_c/pseuds/zanoranna'>zanoranna (rei_c)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Men's Football RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/M, M/M, Promises</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2011-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2011-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:41:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,516</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23247565</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rei_c/pseuds/zanoranna</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bastian is the lead singer in one of Germany's most popular bands. The band has a code when it comes to groupies, but will the code stand up to Bastian's crush on Lukas Podolski?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lukas Podolski/Bastian Schweinsteiger, Mario Gómez/Bastian Schweinsteiger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Liebeslieder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I saw <a href="http://vaeltaa.tumblr.com/post/3643619338/what-if-die-mannschaft-was-a-band">this tumblr post</a> and could. not. resist.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The crowd's screaming as the band tumbles off the stage. Mesut's leading the way with Holger, laughing as Holger nearly trips over his sneakers' untied laces. Mario notices as well, points it out to everyone, and they're all laughing at Holger when he elbows Mesut and the two of them go careening into a stack of speakers. </p>
<p>"Jesus, it's like being on tour with children," Miro grumbles, next to Bastian, but he's smiling when Bastian looks over. </p>
<p>"Aw, but you love 'em," Bastian says, grinning. "If it hadn't been for them, we would've been fucked in Madrid, or have you forgotten?"</p>
<p>From behind, Bastian and Miro get bopped on the head with a drumstick each. "Oi," Manu says. "They had help, you know." </p>
<p>"Shut up, Manu," Philipp and Arne say in unison, before glancing at each other and bursting out into laughter. </p>
<p>Endorphins run high after a good show and this tour's been nothing but amazing, barring a few technical issues early on that they'd quickly gotten straightened out. Bastian feels high as a kite right now, adrenaline still running through him, and he takes off his shirt and uses it to wipe off his forehead and neck as he follows his bandmates through a maze of equipment. </p>
<p>"You better not fucking leave that here," Thomas says, coming out from the middle of nowhere, holding a guitar case in each hand and eyeing Bastian's dirty shirt. </p>
<p>"Aw, poor Thomas," Per says, and rubs his knuckles on Thomas' head, knocking Thomas' headset off-centre. Thomas scowls, takes aim with one of the cases, and manages to graze Per's leg. Per bitches about it but he's laughing as he heads in the direction of some food; Thomas rolls his eyes and disappears again. </p>
<p>Bastian wants nothing more than a cold beer and all the junk food he can eat, but the contract stipulates he has to sign some autographs after every show. He grabs a bottle of water, downs it quickly, then takes a second bottle and follows a PA to where the VIP ticket holders are waiting for him. </p>
<p>There are still echoes of the crowd every so often, and Bastian can hear the rest of the band laughing their heads off. He wants to be with them, reliving the good moments of the concert and eventually trying to wind down a little, but the PA opens the door and a dozen people stand up and turn to face him. Bastian's gaze flitters over each of them but pauses on a tall blonde woman and a guy with short cropped brown hair standing next to her. </p>
<p>"Sarah!" Bastian exclaims, going over to her and starting to hug her before he realises that he's absolutely filthy with sweat and isn't even wearing a shirt. "Oh, um." </p>
<p>'It's all right, Basti," she says, grinning. "We were all dancing, I'm not very clean either." She pulls him forward, hugs him tight, and then, when they've separated, says, "This is Lukas." She tugs the brunet closer to Bastian, and adds, "He's a <i>huge</i> fan." </p>
<p>Bastian nods, holds out one hand for Lukas to shake. "Pleasure to meet you, Lukas," Bastian says. "Always nice to meet a fan." </p>
<p>"You're <i>amazing</i>," Lukas says, then turns bright red.</p>
<p>Bastian laughs, says, "Thanks," then tells Lukas and Sarah, "Stay here; I'll take you back to see the others when I'm done here. Sound good?" </p>
<p>Sarah nods, blonde hair flying everywhere. "It's been a while since I've seen Miro," she says. "It'll be good to catch up with him for a minute." </p>
<p>As Bastian turns away, he sees that Lukas' eyes have gone wide.</p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>Bastian does the meet-and-greet, signing t-shirts and CD covers and posters, shaking hands and giving kisses, hearing about how much people love the band, love the music, love <i>him</i>. It's gratifying and there's always a piece of him that revels in it, that thrives off of the adulation. Still, he's relieved when security ushers all but Sarah and Lukas out of the room.</p>
<p>He turns back to Sarah, gives her a big, shit-eating grin, and asks, “Miro?”</p>
<p>“Fuck yeah,” Sarah says. She takes Lukas by the hand and they follow Bastian back through the mess of backstage. Bastian and Sarah keep up an easy conversation and Bastian can't help but smile every time he sees Lukas looking around, trying to catalogue everything, memorise everything.</p>
<p>“So,” Bastian says, “how did you two meet, anyway?”</p>
<p>Sarah laughs and Lukas groans, mutters, “Please don't, Sar, for the love of god.”</p>
<p>When he's not doing his best impression of a deer in headlights, Lukas has a <i>gorgeous</i> voice.</p>
<p>Sarah's got a gleam in her eyes as if she knows exactly what Bastian's thinking. Shit, they've been friends for so long, it's not impossible. “Lukas moved in next to me a few months ago,” she says. “The first thing he unpacked was a sound system like you wouldn't believe, and what do you think was the first record he played?”</p>
<p>Lukas is flushing again and, damn it, Bastian's in trouble because even the blush is adorable, putting little spots of colour in Lukas' cheeks and turning the arch under his eyebrows the same pink as the tops of his ears are going.</p>
<p>“Then,” Sarah goes on, “once he unpacked, there were the posters and the t-shirts and the framed ticket stubs and every CD ever, even the singles and the solo stuff. So, of course, when I had an extra ticket for the show, I <i>had</i> to bring him.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Bastian says, looking directly at Lukas, “I'm glad you did.”</p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>The band's never in a hurry to move right after a show. Bastian had figured they'd all be sitting in the snack room, lounging around and giving each other crap about the show, though he's never sure about who may have stripped down to underwear already. He peeks his head in first, just to make sure everyone's at least wearing jeans, and says, “Hey, guess who showed up tonight?”</p>
<p>The noise when everyone sees Sarah is unimaginable. She goes directly to Miro and envelopes him in a huge hug, then, with one arm still around him, she leans over and smacks Holger hard, open palm to the bare expanse of Holger's back.</p>
<p>“Ow, jesus, Sarah, what the ever-loving fuck, okay?” Holger says after a yelp.</p>
<p>She starts going off on him about not calling his parents enough. Bastian laughs a little, seeing it; he's stayed near the door with Lukas, who is almost gaping as he watches.</p>
<p>“She never told you she knew us?” Bastian guesses, leaning over to talk to Lukas. This close, he can see <i>and</i> feel the muscles of Lukas' arms and, damn, the man is built.</p>
<p>“Not a word,” Lukas says. “The bitch. How. Um. How <i>do</i> you know her?”</p>
<p>Bastian smiles as Per picks Sarah up and spins her around, the sound of Arne and Mesut's laughter almost drowning out her shrieks. “She's my best friend,” he says simply. “I've known her forever. Actually, most of us have known her forever; we all grew up in the same general area and went to school together. I think most people thought she'd be joining the band, actually; she has a pretty good singing voice and she's a damn fine lyricist, too.”</p>
<p>“S. Brandner,” Lukas says, with dawning comprehension. “She's got co-writing credit on some of the earlier songs. Why the hell didn't she tell me?”</p>
<p>“She likes messing with people,” Bastian says. It almost sounded like Lukas was hurt, for a moment, so he adds, cautiously, “She probably thought it would be a good joke to play on you, to say she had an extra ticket but not anything else.”</p>
<p>Sarah's there, in front of them, and she pipes up, “I didn't mean to upset you, Lukas, but, well.” She shrugs, and asks, “Honestly, if you'd known that you'd be meeting them, you may not have come. Right?”</p>
<p>Lukas glares at her, just a touch longer, than deflates. “Yeah, all right.”</p>
<p>Sarah takes Lukas away with her to introduce him to everyone. Once she's had him meet Mario, Mario sidles up to where Bastian's watching, leans against the wall next to him.</p>
<p>“He's a gorgeous piece of ass,” Mario says, and the only reason Bastian doesn't punch him in the face is because that statement was really more than half a question.</p>
<p>The band knows that Bastian's bisexual; hell, the entire world does after he came out in a GQ interview three years ago. And Mario's right, god, Bastian would love to do nothing more than peel off Lukas' clothes and see what he looks like underneath, but the band has a strict 'no fucking fans' policy that's kept them all out of trouble more than a few times.</p>
<p>But damn it, Bastian's ready to forget that pact and just -- just <i>take</i>.</p>
<p>“Fuck it,” Bastian mutters.</p>
<p>Mario laughs and unwinds himself, standing tall. “Sar! We're gonna go check on the roadies, all right?”</p>
<p>She waves and everyone else gives them a knowing glimpse; Miro turns his speculative gaze onto Lukas a moment later. Bastian wants to follow the direction of Miro's look but he can't stand to see what expression Lukas is wearing, knows that he won't be able to stop himself if he does, so he just waves back to Sarah and lets Mario pull him out of the room.</p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>They don't go very far; they barely make it into the stacks of equipment, near a huge roll of cable. It's no time at all before Bastian's nails are digging into a wooden crate and Mario's buried deep inside of him, moving with slow, measured rolls of his hips.</p>
<p>They're not together, don't really even love each other beyond being band-mates and friends, but they do this when Bastian sees someone he'd like to take to bed, or when Mario gets so wound up that all that helps is a fuck, hard or slow, quick or drawn-out, and an orgasm, or when they're so high from a show that sex is the only thing that can bring them both back down to earth. Miro disapproves, but, then, Miro's been married for ten years to his high-school sweetheart and would never have sex with someone he doesn't know and love. Everyone else just thinks it's hilarious and hey, whatever keeps them out of the tabloids can't be a bad thing.</p>
<p>“God, would you just,” Bastian says, and then Mario slams into him, hard enough to knock the breath out of Bastian's lungs and leave him scrabbling for purchase against the crate.</p>
<p>“Like that?” Mario asks in a low voice, almost a purr, the one that sends their fans into screaming frenzies when Mario uses it on stage. “S'this what you want, Basti? Fucked half to death to keep you from thinking of little Lukas and the way he looked at you?”</p>
<p>Bastian groans, lets his head fall forward as Mario picks up the pace, fucking him hard and deep with every stroke now, the slide of his dick in and out of Bastian's hole almost painful. “Yeah,” he pants, and lets go of the crate with one hand, wraps his fingers around his cock and pulls. “Fuck, <i>harder</i>.”</p>
<p>“Bet he'd let you fuck him, Basti,” Mario goes on, the words still breathed out evenly, though Mario's really <i>fucking</i> now. Bastian's going to be feeling this tomorrow, once the adrenaline's worn off. “Bet he'd be a shameless little slut, begging for you to use him however you wanted. I know you saw the hero-worship in his eyes; he'd let you take whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, however you wanted. Bet he'd suck cock like he was born for it, that mouth of his.”</p>
<p>Bastian can't help thinking about it, can't help imagining what Lukas would look like, on his knees with his lips around Bastian's dick, or what it would be like to push Lukas down and fuck him until he screamed, or if Lukas would ride Bastian until they both came without any other touch.</p>
<p>Bastian's climax hits hard and fast and he comes with a strangled groan, every muscle in his body going from rigidly tense to cut loose and languid. It doesn't take Mario much longer and the two of them stand there, panting, until their hearts stop racing. Mario slides out of Bastian and takes the condom off; Bastian hisses a little at the sting, but it's a welcome reminder of what they've just done and <i>why</i>.</p>
<p>In a rare show of -- of whatever this is, between them, Bastian turns and throws his hands around Mario's neck. He tugs Mario's head closer, kisses Mario deep and lazy, and finally says, when they break for air, “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Mario says. “Anytime you need me.”</p>
<p>By the time they find a place to drop the condom and pull themselves together, Sarah has gone and she's taken Lukas with her.  </p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>They play the last show of the tour in Munich and it lasts for hours. By the time everyone leaves the stage, they're exhausted, running on pure adrenaline. They bypass the backstage area and head out to a few different cars. Miro's going home to his wife and Philipp is as well, so they wave and load up their two favourite guitars in the back of each of their cars before heading out from Allianz. The rest split up into the last three Audis waiting and hightail it in the direction of Bastian's place. </p>
<p>Everyone could head home from the arena, but Per's permanent home is in Bremen, as is Mesut's, not to mention Manu in Gelsenkirchen and Arne in Wolfsburg and that's enough of a drive at this time of night, with an adrenaline crash fast approaching, to make them think twice. So, this is what they usually do: all go back to Bastian's, which is close enough and big enough to house them overnight and make sure they're all well-rested and showered by the time they scatter the next day. </p>
<p>When they get to the house, Holger heads for bed immediately and Arne slips towards the other guest room an hour later. The others are still up, still talking and laughing and drinking, but Bastian needs space, has finally reached the point where these guys -- the ones he thinks of as his brothers -- are starting to be just a <i>little</i> too much. </p>
<p>He says goodnight to them, Mario giving him a wink and a raised eyebrow in an offer of company for whatever Bastian might have in mind. Bastian grins back, shakes his head, and Mario rolls his eyes, turns back to Manu. </p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>Bastian uses his key to slip into Sarah's apartment. He's not surprised to find she's on the settee in the living room; she knows him better than anyone, even anyone in the band. She would've guessed he needed space from them all. </p>
<p>"Am I so predictable?" he says, kicking off his shoes and taking off his hoodie, leaving them both in a pile on the floor. </p>
<p>"Only to me, Basti," she says. Sarah stands up and Bastian can tell she's fallen asleep, waiting for him. He gives her a look, opens his mouth to say something, and she says, before he can even get a word out, "Oh, don't start with me. I knew you'd be here and you'd feel even guiltier if I'd already been in bed. Now, Basti. Are you in a mood to tell me everything about the show and the tour and what it feels like to be home, or are you ready for sleep?"</p>
<p>Bastian yawns, the action popping his jaw, and he rubs his eyes. "Sleep, I think." </p>
<p>Sarah clucks her tongue at him but tells him, "I'll make tea, and you go change. There's spare pyjamas in the bath. Have a shower, if you want; the towels are fresh." She starts heading for the kitchen, long legs eating up the small space in seconds.</p>
<p>"Are you saying I reek?" Bastian asks, and when she's close enough, Bastian pulls her in tight, gives her a big, wet, sloppy kiss on the mouth. She squeals, pushes him away, and Bastian pouts. </p>
<p>"I'm not saying you reek," she says, wiping her mouth off with the back of her arm. "Or, at least, I wasn't. But you do, jesus. Take the damn shower, okay?" </p>
<p>Bastian showers, luxuriates in the hot water, and when he finally emerges, it's alongside a billow of steam. There's no light on in the living room or kitchen, so he heads to the bedroom. Sarah's got the reading lamps on each side of the bed clicked on, and the overhead fan's going 'round and 'round in slow and lazy circles. Sarah's sitting up on one side of the bed, a pair of glasses perched low on her nose as she reads one of the latest bestsellers, and the covers on the other side of the bed have been turned down. </p>
<p>With a sigh of relief -- fuck, his feet hurt -- Bastian gets into bed next to her, sitting up with his back against the headboard. He picks up a cup of tea, sips at it; still warm, so he didn't take <i>too</i> long.</p>
<p>"I always eat breakfast with Lukas on Sundays," she says, after Bastian's sipped down half the cup of tea. "You're more than welcome to join us, if you'd like." </p>
<p>Lukas. Fuck. </p>
<p>It's been, what, four months since that show? Bastian hasn't been able to stop thinking about Lukas. Mostly at random times, when the band's at the gym or when they're playing hide-and-seek with the roadies in stacks of equipment or every time he and Mario have fucked in the past four months. </p>
<p>"How's he been?" Bastian asks. </p>
<p>He's aiming for casual but Sarah knows him too well; she snorts and says, "Y'know, he framed the VIP pass from that night, and the t-shirt. The one, coincidentally, that everyone except you and Gómez signed." </p>
<p>Bastian winces; Sarah has never warmed to Mario, though she agrees that he fits the band well, is a key member. There has to be something there, something between the two of them, that neither one will tell him. Bastian can only guess that it's about him, maybe even about the arrangement he and Mario have. </p>
<p>"I'll sign it," Bastian promises. "And a poster, if he wants." </p>
<p>There's a long pause and then Sarah says, "I like him, Basti. He's been a good friend to me. I don't want you to. I mean, he isn't." </p>
<p>"I'll stick to the code, Sarah," Bastian says. He finishes the last of his tea in a long gulp, and adds, "And I promise, I won't lead him on."</p>
<p>Sarah closes her book and turns off her light. She waits until Bastian's turned off his light as well, and they're both settled, lying in each other's arms, before she says, "I think it's already too late for that, Bastian." </p>
<p>He doesn't know how to respond. </p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>Bastian wakes up slowly, rolling onto his back and stretching like a cat, feeling bones in his neck and shoulders and ankles pop. Muscles he hadn't even realised were tense have relaxed and Bastian just lies there for a moment, soaking it all in, before he even thinks about opening his eyes. </p>
<p>Waking up on the first day after a tour can be difficult, which is why he prefers to do so at Sarah's house when he can. Her bed is soft, sheets smelling of Sarah's almond night crème and warmed with heat from the sun, and it's a comfortable place to take his time and readjust to the rhythms of the rest of world. </p>
<p>There's always a strange moment of disconnect when he's expecting to hear the sounds of travel or someone banging on the wall between hotel rooms; when nothing comes but the low murmur of voices in another room, Bastian sits up. He rubs his eyes and then his belly, hearing his stomach start to growl a moment later. Bastian checks the time, sees that he's had a proper lie-in, and gets up, pads into the en-suite. </p>
<p>He doesn't do much, just pisses, washes his hands and his face, and runs some water through his hair to keep it from standing up. It's enough for Sarah, anyway, and he's craving a cup of coffee more than a hot shower. </p>
<p>Bastian gets out to the kitchen and thinks that maybe he should have had that shower. Or at least put on a t-shirt. </p>
<p>"--so I told him that," Lukas is saying, though his words come to an abrupt stop when he catches sight of Bastian. Lukas meets Bastian's eyes for a brief moment, then travel down. </p>
<p>Bastian should have put on a shirt, but he pulls the sleep-pants a little higher on his hips and tightens the drawstring. He can do that, at least. With a sheepish smile, Bastian gives Lukas a little wave, and says, "Good morning?" </p>
<p>"Afternoon, Basti," Sarah says. She slides out of her chair, gives Bastian a kiss on each cheek, then goes to pour Bastian a cup of coffee. "You slept half the day away; must've needed it, hmm? Go on, sit down. You hardly look awake yet."</p>
<p>"Awake is overrated," Bastian says, and, as he sits down, follows it up with a yawn. Bastian sits there and watches Sarah for a moment, fully aware of Lukas' eyes on him. In the end, though, he puts his head down on the table, closes his eyes. "I just. It's a good thing we decided to take time off before going back to the studio. I'm going to sleep for the next <i>month</i>." </p>
<p>Sarah comes back, sets down the coffee -- it smells so <i>fucking</i> good -- and runs a hand through his hair before she pulls her chair closer and sits down next to him. She rubs his neck and Bastian can't help but let out a groan at the feeling, her fingers working out the last few knots in his muscles. </p>
<p>It's quiet, just the three of them, but Lukas is the first one to break the silence. "I should go," he says, and he sounds so honestly regretful that Bastian lifts up his head. </p>
<p>"I interrupted," Bastian says, reaching for the coffee as Sarah's hand falls to the back of the chair. "Really, please, stay. I'll get in the bath soon and then I have to go home and make sure none of the others burnt the place down." </p>
<p>"I'll stick up for Holgi here," Sarah says, "and remind you that it's not his fault the smoke alarms didn't have any batteries. All right?"</p>
<p>Bastian snorts, rolls his eyes. "I still say it should not have been possible to cause that much damage with a <i>toaster</i>, but all right. I'm feeling generous; you win." </p>
<p>"Holger almost burnt your house down," Lukas says, slowly, looking between Bastian and Sarah. "With a toaster. Because there were no batteries in the smoke alarm?" </p>
<p>"There weren't batteries because we were out and Mesut nicked the two from the alarm so he could play Manu a sample that one of his friends in Mexico City sent him," Bastian says. "And yes, he did warn me, and yes, there is more than one smoke alarm in the house, but. Holger's never allowed to make toast again. Or anything else. In fact, we still don't know why he was making toast in the first place. He's a genius on the tables and he can hook up a set in seconds, speakers and equalisers and all, but anything else and he's worse than useless." </p>
<p>Lukas is still staring at Bastian, can't seem to wrap his mind around the idea. Bastian's not sure which part of the story he's having issues with but thinks it may be better not to ask. </p>
<p>"Anyway," Bastian says, "I'm sorry to interrupt your. Sarah, you said you had Lukas over for <i>breakfast</i> on Sundays."</p>
<p>"Yes, well," Sarah says. She juts up her chin, tells him, "Just because we're not rock stars doesn't mean we don't appreciate sleeping in when we get the chance. And anyway," she adds, "I was talking about the contents of the meal, not the time of day we eat it."</p>
<p>Bastian grins and barely resists the urge to reach over and tickle her under the chin or tug at her earlobe. He turns to Lukas instead and says, "Well, thank you for letting me interrupt your breakfast. I owe you, and that's above and beyond the t-shirt I still need to sign." </p>
<p>Lukas blinks -- Bastian thinks it's the most adorable thing he's ever seen, right before he curses how thin these pyjama bottoms are -- and asks, "What t-shirt?" </p>
<p>Sarah shakes her head. </p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>The band takes a full month off. It's the first time they scatter to the four winds in years, after three world-tours only broken up by studio time. The ones with families go on holiday to different places in America, the ones without go to Ibiza, Crete, Tokyo. Bastian stays in Munich, mostly because there's no where he really wants to go -- especially alone -- though partly because he misses Sarah and ends up sleeping at her place more often than every other night. </p>
<p>Bastian and Sarah keep in touch when he's on the road but it isn't the same at all; telephone calls and Skype just can't compete with sitting shoulder-to-shoulder on the floor in silence, staring out of the window, or going out people-watching together, speaking in the code they invented when they were six and trying to hide things from their older brothers, or sleeping curled up together under a pile of blankets. Sometimes being away from Sarah for so long makes Bastian feel as though he's missing a limb, permanently off-balance and aching. </p>
<p>With Sarah, now, sometimes, comes Lukas. Bastian doesn't know what she thinks she's doing or why she's even doing it, but there's not much he can say about it. Lukas is her friend, has a laugh that Bastian's fast becoming addicted to hearing and a smile that Bastian lives to see. He can act like a child sometimes; Lukas has a propensity to slam doors and scowl and turn the smallest thing into a mountain of epic proportions. </p>
<p>Bastian is gutted when he realises how much he finds Lukas' every mood-swing completely and totally irresistible. </p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>"It's not <i>fair</i>," Bastian says. The words slur in his mouth and he can hear it; he tucks his face into the curve of Sarah's neck and tries not to get her hair in his mouth. "He's just so." </p>
<p>"You have a code," Sarah says, or, at least, that's what Bastian thinks she's says. </p>
<p>He turns his face up, sighs deeply, and says, "Fuck the code. Rules are meant to be broken, right? It's just. I've done so fucking good with this one. We all have. And I honestly thought Holgi or Mario would be the first one to break it. And it's me. Always breaking things. My code, and I'm breaking it." </p>
<p>Sarah pets his hair, then shifts them until he's got his head in her lap. He looks up at her, tries to focus on her though the room is spinning a little, and she rubs his forehead just where he likes, the way he likes. </p>
<p>"Bastian," she says, and he groans, because she never uses his full name unless someone else is there or he's in trouble. They're very much alone right now, so he must be in trouble. "No," she says, and gives him a little smack on the tip of his nose. "No, listen to me, okay? Bastian. He's a fan, yes, fine. But he's a friend, too, now. Right?" </p>
<p>"Still a fan," Bastian says mournfully, and puts his arm over his eyes. Sarah drags her nails over his skin and he mumbles something; he's not even sure what it is he's saying. She does it again, and Bastian enunciates enough to say, "Seriously, fuck the fucking code already, <i>fuck</i>," before he falls asleep.</p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>Everyone eventually returns and goes into the studio to work on the next album. Bastian's in every day, as are Mario, Manu, and Mesut. The others drift in and out as needed, sometimes hanging around to watch the songwriting or as the four hammer out melodies and harmonies and beats. Mesut comes in one day waving his iPod and going on about some IDM DJ in London; Holger's right on his heels telling everyone they have to listen to this because, "come on, you guys, this is the glitchiest shit <i>ever</i> and we can so use it, it's gonna be fucking <i>boss</i>." </p>
<p>Bastian looks over at Per and Philipp, who had been trying to work out some chord-progressions in one corner, and asks, "Is glitchy a good thing, now?" </p>
<p>"Kids these days," Miro says. He's tuning his guitar but the instant Mesut hooks up the iPod to the speakers, Miro's flinching and setting the guitar down. Holger turns the sound down and Mesut pauses the track; Miro says, calmly, "What the fuck was that." </p>
<p>Holger and Mesut look at each other, then down at the floor, but Bastian looks at Mario and says, "The second one, with the." </p>
<p>"We can try it there, and then when," Mario says, instantly picking up what Bastian's thinking. Bastian's nodding and Mario starts as well, the two of them talking in sentence-fragments as Bastian reaches for the sheaves of paper with their songs and Mario gets his guitar. </p>
<p>"Oh, here they fucking go again," Manu grumbles, but Bastian's already erasing words here and notes there as Mario plucks the new ones out on his guitar, the two of them lost in their own version of creative synchronicity. </p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>They emerge an hour later, two songs completely redone, to find themselves completely alone in the studio. Mario glances around them as Bastian puts the finishing touches on the songs, and says, mildly, "I think they got bored." </p>
<p>Bastian hums in question, turns a half-note into a whole note, and looks up. "Huh," he says. "Did they leave a message?" </p>
<p>Mario snorts and leans back in his chair. "Do they ever? They'll show up again when they think we're done." He shoves his hands into his pockets and spreads his legs a little. Mario tilts his head and gives Bastian a look that leaves no question as to what's on <i>his</i> mind. </p>
<p>Any other time, seeing Mario sit like that, his crotch on clear display, and Bastian would smirk back in answer and drop to his knees. Right now, though, all Bastian can think of is Lukas. </p>
<p>"Sorry," Bastian says, giving Mario a tight smile. Bastian gets up, turns his back to Mario and fiddles with Philipp's guitar. </p>
<p>"Not as much as I am," Mario murmurs. He's quiet for a moment, then Bastian feels a hand on his shoulder. Mario leans in behind him, lets the hand slide down Bastian's arm. His fingers cover Bastian's for a moment, then his hand moves inward, fingernails lightly scratching the Bastian's wrist and the skin under his bracelets before his palm glides across Bastian's stomach. "Come on," he murmurs, right in Bastian's ear. "What's wrong, Basti? I know you want this." </p>
<p>For a moment, Bastian closes his eyes. He leans back, into the comforting and familiar feel of Mario's chest; this is a position they've been in many times before and it feels good, enough so that there's a bit of heat stirring in Bastian's stomach. </p>
<p>It doesn't feel <i>right</i>, though, and Bastian opens his eyes, slips out of Mario's hold -- reluctantly, but he does move. </p>
<p>"Sorry," he says again, and leaves the studio. </p>
<p>Bastian doesn't look back, doesn't want to see what kind of expression is on Mario's face.</p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>He calls Sarah as soon as he's in his car and speeding away from the studio. The phone rings three times, then four, then five, and Bastian's muttering for her to pick up under his breath when someone does answer the phone. </p>
<p>It's not Sarah. </p>
<p>"Sarah's phone, this is Lukas." Bastian nearly drives off the road. "Hello? Is someone there?" </p>
<p>"Um," Bastian says, once he's gotten the car and his heart-rate back under control. "Yeah. I mean, hi. I mean." </p>
<p>Lukas laughs, says, "Hey, Schweini. Sarah's on a step-stool, trying to change a lightbulb. You need to talk to her?" </p>
<p>Bastian can hear Sarah cursing in the background, shouting about how Lukas should have offered to do this, that he's not being a gentleman, that he's never allowed to come over and eat her food and drink her coffee again. </p>
<p>"No, that's all right," Bastian says. "Thanks. Bye." He hangs up and when his phone rings a minute later, he turns it off and throws it in the backseat. </p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>With no one else to talk to and nowhere else to go but home, Bastian finds himself driving around aimlessly until he parks in front of Miro's house. He sits in the car, trying to decide if he should get out and see if Miro's at home or if he should go back to the studio to wait for the rest of the band. Getting out and talking to Miro would mean talking about Mario, which would mean talking about Lukas, which would mean admitting that Bastian's thinking -- seriously considering -- breaking the code. On the other hand, going back to the studio might mean facing Mario. </p>
<p>A knock on the car window has Bastian jumping and he turns to glare at whoever disturbed him. It's Miro, who simply raises an eyebrow and says, "You've been out here for half an hour, Basti. You coming in or what?" </p>
<p>Bastian gets out of the car and follows Miro inside, pausing to say hello to Sylwia before going inside Miro's music room and letting Miro close the door behind them. The room's warm, but bright with sunlight and filled with guitars, bass and electric and acoustic, even a couple steel-string and double-necks.</p>
<p>Miro sits down on a stool by the door as Bastian wanders inside, picking up one of the acoustics and perching on the edge of the window-seat, body of the guitar resting on one knee as he starts to pluck out the opening to a Rolling Stones song. </p>
<p>Bastian can't play as well as any of the others in the band but he's no slouch, and he starts making his way through his favourite classic rock songs as Miro's content to sit there and wait him out. </p>
<p>"I told Mario no, today," Bastian finally says. He's focused on the chords to "In-a-gadda-da-vida" so he doesn't have to look up and see the expression on Miro's face, whatever it is. "You remember when Sarah brought her friend to one of our shows? His name is Lukas," Bastian goes on, without giving Miro a chance to reply. "I've. I've sort of seen a lot of him since we've been back here. I think Sarah knew; I mean, I couldn't stop thinking. And he's an ass, sometimes, he can act like such a child, but he's. You should see him when he <i>smiles</i>, Miro," Bastian says, and finally looks up at his friend. "His <i>laugh</i>," Bastian says, plaintively, staring right at Miro. "There are times I think I'd do anything to hear him laugh."</p>
<p>"But?" Miro asks, quietly. </p>
<p>Bastian switches to "Smoke on the Water." "There's the code," he says. </p>
<p>Miro snorts and says, "Basti, please. You know the code doesn't apply here and frankly, I'm pissed off you even brought it up." </p>
<p>That has Bastian nearly losing his grip on the guitar. He stares at Miro for a moment but when it seems as if Miro isn't going to say anything more, Bastian says, slowly, "The code <i>does</i> apply, Miro. He's a <i>fan</i>." </p>
<p>"Yeah, well," Miro snaps back, "Sylwia's a fan. Claudia's a fan. Thomas met Lisa when we were recording our second record. You don't see me or Philipp or Thomas thinking about separate bedrooms or, god forbid, divorce. Jesus, you know the code only applies to groupies we see for one night in one city.You think Lukas is going to go blab to the papers, or slap a lawsuit against us?" Bastian's still staring. Miro takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, and asks, "What's the <i>real</i> reason you're here, Bastian?" </p>
<p>Miro using his full name is never a good sign; Bastian prefers to focus on that more on the actual question Miro asked. "I don't know what you're talking about." </p>
<p>"Get your head out of your ass," Miro says. He shakes his head and adds, "Just because you're too afraid to start something with Lukas, and too cowardly to tell Mario it's over, and too comfortable living with the way things are, it doesn't mean you can mope about it in front of my house. If you want to change things, you can. No one would stop you, I guarantee it."</p>
<p>"Mario," Bastian starts to say. </p>
<p>Miro cuts him off immediately, says, "Mario doesn't love you. He's not using you but. You've been using each other. Maybe if you end it, it'll give him a reason to start looking for the person he <i>will</i> fall in love with, instead of just staying with you because you have an arrangement that keeps you both in orgasms." </p>
<p>Bastian puts the guitar down, suddenly too ashamed to look at Miro -- who is, of course, absolutely right. There's no good reason for him to put off pursuing a relationship with Lukas. There's no good reason he can't tell Mario that it's over between them. There's no good reason for the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. </p>
<p>And yet he has one at the mere thought of shaking up his world so much. </p>
<p>"Maybe I am a coward," Bastian finally says as he stands up. "Maybe you're right." </p>
<p>He brushes past Miro, who's trying to call him back, and gives Sylwia a tight smile as he passes her in the hall. Bastian goes out to his car and drives away, tyres squealing as he accelerates and takes a corner too fast. </p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>Bastian goes back to his house and calls Mario once he's inside, pacing up and down the hallway like a caged tiger. He can't sit down, can't sit still, not with Miro's words bouncing around his head. </p>
<p><i>...you're too afraid...too cowardly...too comfortable</i>...</p>
<p>"Basti," Mario breathes, answering the call. "Are you all right?" </p>
<p>Bastian resists the urge -- barely -- to punch the wall. He shouldn't have left so abruptly, he knows that, and now guilt is making his stomach churn.</p>
<p>"Hey," Bastian says. "Look, about what happened earlier." </p>
<p>"No," Mario says. "Don't worry about it. I." He stops, just like that, and chuckles. Before, Bastian thinks that sound would have made something inside of his blood stir, jump to life, but now, all Bastian can think about is how different Mario's laugh is from Lukas'. </p>
<p>Mario's comes up lacking in the comparison.</p>
<p>"We're a couple of damn idiots, aren't we," Bastian says, grinning now, a knot of tension in his shoulders unfurling. </p>
<p>"Speak for yourself, Basti," Mario says. Bastian can hear that Mario's wearing one of his shit-eating grins. "So, who's the guy, huh? Must be someone pretty damn good if you're turning <i>me</i> down. Or are you and Sarah finally." </p>
<p>Bastian laughs and, a second after he starts, Mario joins in. "God, Sar would kill me," Bastian says. "It wouldn't even take an hour and she'd kick me out. It's, um. Do you remember Lukas?"</p>
<p>Mario's quiet; he finally says, "The gorgeous piece of ass Sarah brought to the concert?" </p>
<p>"Yeah," Bastian says. He leans against the wall, slides down until he's on the floor, his knees tucked under his chin. "Well, we've been spending a lot of time together." He pauses, finally says, "I think Sarah knew this would happen." </p>
<p>"You've been seeing a lot of her 'I told you so' smiles lately, haven't you," Mario asks. "Poor, poor Basti." </p>
<p>Bastian grins, then laughs. "You would not <i>believe</i> how many." </p>
<p>"Better you than me," Mario replies, instantly. </p>
<p>The two of them chuckle a moment longer, then Bastian asks, hesitantly, "You. You aren't mad?" </p>
<p>"I guess maybe it's time," Mario replies. It takes a minute and Mario's tone of voice is more thoughtful than Bastian had been expecting. Bastian winces but Mario says, "I won't say I'll miss it -- miss <i>you</i> -- but, jesus. How long. I mean. You're lucky, you know? You're still gonna be getting laid. That isn't an invitation to try and hook me up with anyone," Mario adds, quickly. "And don't tell Sarah, either." </p>
<p>Bastian grins. "Hadn't planned on it." He takes a deep breath, says, "Listen, Mario, I'm sorry. It would be so much easier if." </p>
<p>Mario interrupts, says, "It would. But at least we had fun while it lasted. Now, are you getting your ass back to the studio anytime soon?" </p>
<p>"Yeah," Bastian says, standing up and grabbing his keys. "I'm on my way. Don't let Mesut blow the speakers before I get there, okay?" </p>
<p>"Deal," Mario says. </p>
<p>It's another long handful of moments before they hang up. </p>
<p>Bastian gets the urge to call Mario back, to apologise, to say he wasn't thinking clearly. He almost does; he goes so far as to bring up Mario's info on speed-dial and lets his thumb hover over the call button. </p>
<p>With a deep breath, Bastian clears the screen and dials Sarah as he walks out of his house and locks the door behind him. </p>
<p>"Bastian, what the hell's going on?" Sarah answers, not bothering to say hello. "Miro called me. Are you all right?" </p>
<p>"Sarah," Bastian says. "Breathe, okay? Everything's fine." He unlocks the car and slides behind the wheel, putting the keys in the ignition as he closes the door and buckles himself in. He doesn't turn the car on, though, just sits there as he says, "Listen, I talked to Miro today. And Mario. And I just wanted to. Is Lukas there?" </p>
<p>There's silence from Sarah's end, though Bastian can hear Lukas in the background, asking what's wrong. Bastian closes his eyes; he doesn't want to know what kind of look is on Sarah's face. </p>
<p>"Schweini?" Lukas asks, apparently either having been given the phone by Sarah or wrenched it away from her himself. "Is everything okay?" </p>
<p>"Everything's fine," Bastian says. He can feel butterflies in his stomach. Jesus, he feels like such a <i>girl</i>, when the hell did that happen? "I actually called to ask you something." </p>
<p>Bastian stops there and it's a long minute before Lukas prompts him, says, "Yeah? What did you want to ask me?" </p>
<p>"Go out to dinner with me?" Bastian blurts out. "Just us, you know, like a." </p>
<p>"Like a date?" Lukas breathes, disbelief in his tone. "Really? You're asking me out on a date?" </p>
<p>In the background, Bastian can hear Sarah telling Lukas just to say yes, to agree and give her back her damn phone, thank you very much. </p>
<p>Bastian grins, says, "Pick you up at eight?" </p>
<p>"Yeah, I," Lukas says, still sounding stunned. "That sounds great. I mean, I'll be ready." </p>
<p>"Good," Bastian says. They hang up and Bastian leans forward, bangs his head against the steering wheel a few times, then mutters, "I sounded so <i>stupid</i>, oh my <i>god</i>, what the <i>hell</i>." </p>
<p>\\</p>
<p>The new CD drops in March and debuts straight at number one in nine different countries. The record company throws a huge party in Berlin for the band, the roadies, the agents and managers, some media. There's even a red carpet outside with a tonne of paparazzi and journalists with microphones. Bastian and Mario are the last to arrive, in a limo with Sarah and Lukas. </p>
<p>Mario gets out first and must flash one of his come-hither smiles because the air is filled with camera flashes and shouts. </p>
<p>Bastian looks at Lukas and says, "It's not too late to forget the whole thing." </p>
<p>Lukas reaches up, nervously tugs on his tie, and bites his lower lip, glancing out the open door. "No," he finally says. "I'm fine. Just don't go too far away, all right?" </p>
<p>Sarah snorts, says, "As <i>if</i>," before she takes Mario's hand and slides out of the limo. </p>
<p>Mario and Sarah walk away from the car, up the red carpet, and Bastian reaches out, brushes his thumb across Lukas' lips. "Deep breath," he says, and gets out. </p>
<p>The press and photographers are shouting his name but Bastian turns around, holds out his hand. </p>
<p>After a long, agonising moment, Lukas gets out of the limo. For a split-second, there's absolute silence in the air, then the waiting crowd goes <i>wild</i>. </p>
<p>Lukas gives Bastian a wide-eyed look of panic and Bastian tugs Lukas close, presses a kiss to the corner of Lukas' mouth. "Just stand there and look gorgeous," Bastian murmurs. "You're my arm candy tonight." </p>
<p>With a scandalised tone of voice, but playfulness hidden behind the overwhelmed cant of his eyes, Lukas mutters, "Fuck you, I am so much more than arm candy." </p>
<p>Bastian beams and, his hand tight in Lukas', heads for the club.</p>
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